Tigris Eden

Character Interviews:

Message from Gini:

Before we go into this part of the interview, I do want to explain something to the uninitiated. Early on, when “Touched by an Alien” had just come out, there were several book review bloggers who were teasing me about them wanting Martini, etc., for themselves. Kitty, who’s ever-present in my mind, shared that she didn’t like this idea. At all. So, she insisted I had to find a fix, or else she was going to have to take drastic measures. Like not telling me what comes next in the series. That’s a real threat, when your main character says she’s not going to share.

So I created a cloning machine. You want a Martini clone? If you’ve read the books, just ask, one will be on its way. Same with any of the other characters. This way, everyone’s happy, and Kitty cooperates when I need to know what’s coming.

Needless to say and shocking no one, Tigris asked for clones for herself.

Tigris: Pulling up to Bush Intercontinental I’m a bit nervous, never taken a gate before but the clones assure me that everything will work out just fine. Reader Clone even suggested I take some Dramamine with me just for the trip. Of course I listen because duh… The clones are all that and more. Reader squeezes my hand as we pile out of the Accord and gives me that look that says, “Girlfriend, it’s all good.” I immediately feel better and then stop dead in my tracks and look to the sky. Why the hell am I inner monologuing and why am I nervous? They’re just A-Cs. I can handle that and they would have alerted me to any unfriendlies in the area, right? Right. The inner monologue is due to me keeping all the “readers” up on game.

I have four clones, all gorgeous, and all mine, who will protect me at all costs. No need to worry. Jeff Clone steps up behind me and massages my neck and tells me that everything is going to be fine. I roll my eyes at him and he pops me on the back of the head, it’s a friendly tap, and over the last couple of days the men have been nothing short of amazing, all working together, all being very patient with me and my questions. I must remember to thank Gini again once we all hook up. Christopher Clone has once again perfected his glares and is now giving me what I like to call the “Tigris, Don’t go there Glare”.

We hurriedly make our way to the men’s restroom, which is where most of these gate thingies are and step through one at a time. Gower Clone goes first, then Reader Clone, myself, and last to follow are Christopher and Jeff Clones. The trip is a little unnerving, to say the least, but for the most part I’m good.

I step through only to come face to face with an A-C dressed in the standard Armani Attire. I don’t know who this one is but hell; all the men are drop dead gorgeous, so I smile my winning smile and try not to faint. We’re immediately taken down a couple of floors and then put into a room where we wait for the real mastermind behind the stories. I decided to do a group interview so that I could all my questions answered and recorded at the same time.

Gini: Which I told her was a bad idea, but hey, it’s her blog.

When the door opens the first person I see is Christopher, he’s gorgeous and he’s got the glare thing going only I don’t know which glare that is…

Patented Glare #1. He’s not happy about this particular meeting.

Christopher Clone walks directly up to him and hands him a piece of paper which I am breaking my neck trying to see what it is… All I see across the top is ‘Initial Report’. I’m confused now by this as the others pile in and so thus begins our interview.

Tigris: Gini thanks so much for allowing this interview, I know everyone is pressed for time. That whole saving the world thing *eyes Christopher* can take up a lot of time. Also thanks again for the Clones, they are amazing, I hope you don’t mind but I didn’t ask them to wear the standard Armini attire, I had them dress in civilian attire.

Gini: I don’t care. However, they’re A-C clones, and therefore I can assure you, they hate being in civilian attire.

Christopher: She’s right. As always.

Martini: True enough.

Kitty: I think they look good. See how good the Martini Clone looks in denim, Jeff?

Martini: I’m doing my best not to look. I realize you all think this clone idea is a great one, but it kind of freaks me out.

Christopher: Me too.

Reader: Hey, The Creator, can I get a clone of Paul?

Gower: Why would you need one?

Reader: *coughs* No reason.

Kitty: I like where your head’s at, James.

Gower: I probably don’t want to know, do I?

Martini: Trust me, you don’t.

Tigris: So Kitty, now that you’re working with the A-C’s I’m sure your life has been more than exciting and now that Jeff has declared himself how does this make you feel?

Kitty: Oh yeah, life’s a bowl of exploding cherries these days.

Martini: Exploding cherries?

Reader: I can easily get a double meaning out of that.

Kitty: Shut up, James. That’s not what I meant.

Christopher: I’m learning to just let the Kittyisms slide on by and do my best to ignore them.

Kitty: She asked me the question, guys, not you. And, Jeff was constantly declaring himself, so, pretty much, we’re at business as usual. However, I have to admit that it’s nice to have the full commitment all sewn up.

Martini: That’s it? You’re happy we’re “all sewn up”?

Kitty: Yes. I’m happy. Is there something wrong with that?

Martini: All sewn up?

Reader: Tigris, now might be a good time for another question.

Tigris: Reader, you were amazing in Alien Tango, how was that mission different from all the others in the past?

Reader: Nice save. I’d have to give it to the ‘gators on that one, girlfriend. Otherwise, like my girl Kitty, I’m getting used to everyone and everything trying to wipe us out at the drop of a hat.

Tigris: Gower how are things going between you and ACE?

Gower: So far, so very palsied, but otherwise, it’s been fine. An easier adjustment than many things, honestly.

Tigris: Would you say that the relationship is cohesive?

Gower: Well, I’m sharing my brain and body with a super-galactic space entity, so the cohesion’s somewhat a given. I accepted ACE willingly, so there’s no internal fighting going on, if that’s what you mean.

Tigris: If so, ACE, are you at home in your new host? Is that even the right word ACE, I mean you’re an entity not a parasite correct?

Gower: Hang on. I’m finding it’s easier to do it this way. Kitty? *twitches*

Kitty: ACE, are you there?

ACE: Yes, Kitty. ACE is here.

Kitty: Go ahead and answer Tigris’ question.

ACE: No, ACE is not a parasite. While ACE could take over anyone, Paul and Kitty have

shown ACE this is wrong. ACE is a…

Kitty: Distillation of all A-C talents, combined and then separated into a host of entities. They’re like a hive mind, in that sense. It’s kind of hard for ACE to explain it to us. Our brains aren’t really set up to comprehend what ACE actually is.

ACE: Kitty’s brain is. Kitty thinks right.

Kitty: You’re the best, ACE.

Tigris: ACE, now that you are no longer repelling those who would space travel, can the A-Cs go back home? *looks around as the room gets really quite*

ACE: ACE is not at liberty to answer your questions, Tigris. ACE is sorry.

Martini: Next question, please. Immediately. No more speaking with ACE.

Kitty: Commander Voice Activated, Tigris. You’re out of luck. Love you ACE. Go on back in there and give us Paul back.

Gower: *twitches* I don’t believe the palsy will ever actually go away.

Martini: Live with it, Paul. Moving on, next, non-ACE or security issues related question?

Tigris: Christopher can you break down what your department does, I know that it’s kind of a need to know basis, but for me could you please put it into terms that won’t jeopardize your department and make it a bit clearer to the reader.

Christopher: We monitor all visually recorded activity, ensuring that any superbeing or other need-to-know information is kept from the general public. We alter or destroy anything that would give us and our mission away, as well as keeping things like whatever Kitty’s doing next out of the mainstream.

Kitty: You act like I’m the bigger issue.

Christopher: You are.

Kitty: Oh, blah, blah, blah. The parasites and therefore superbeings are slowing down because of me.

Christopher: Nothing else is slowing down, or keeping a low profile, because of you.

Kitty: I think my record speaks for itself.

Gower: It does. Let’s move on, please. Imageering’s given you all I think we feel good in sharing.

Tigris: Reader, while you and Kitty are always joking about how you two getting together, we know you adore Gower. Do you think the two of you relate more because your humans working with Aliens, or is their genuine affection that is maybe just maybe some crushin going on there?

Reader: If I were straight, she’d be my girl.

Martini: Yeah. I thank God every day you’re gay.

Gower: Me too.

Kitty: I think we relate more ‘cause we’re both in this situation, and James is always the coolest guy in any room, not to mention handsome enough to be an A-C. So, of course there’s crushing going on.

Reader: I’d take you away from all this if I could, sugar-tits.

Kitty: I know you would, my walrus boy.

Tigris: Martini are you growling?

Kitty: No. If he was growling, you’d know for sure.

Martini: I’m willing to start, though.

Tigris: Christopher do you Alien Tango as well as Jeff? Can you teach me?

Christopher: We all learn to dance in school. Some of us are better at it than others.

Martini: Christopher didn’t really enjoy the dancing lessons.

Christopher: I just think there are better uses of our time.

Kitty: Christopher enjoys brooding more than dancing.

Christopher: I resent that!

Kitty: But note that you can’t deny it.

Martini: I could teach you, Tigris.

Kitty: Wow, Jeff, and you wonder why The Creator made the clones? Is that offer to get back

at me for the “all sewn up” comment?

Reader: I think it’s for the “walrus boy” comment.

Kitty: Like you didn’t start that?

Reader: Hey, it’s what I do, girlfriend. I think Jeff’s just feeling a little…exposed…right now.

Martini: No. I’m a good dancer, I enjoy it, it’s always nice to teach a pretty lady to dance. She’s a pretty lady, she wants dancing lessons, Christopher’s not the man for the job, so, I’m offering. Just to be nice to her.

Kitty: Jeff, you’re on that fine line between charming and I’m going to hurt you.

Christopher: Tigris, I’d suggest a conversation change about here.

Tigris: Kitty, you ever thought of changing where the gates are?

Kitty: Um, no. I’m not in charge of gate placement. Personally, I hate the gates, because they make me sick to my stomach, but they’re convenient.

Tigris: I’m asking you because you seem like the power behind all the muscle, even if they won’t recognize it… *laughs* I mean couldn’t there be more women restrooms used as well, or say a utility closet? It would cut down on some of those interesting moments.

Kitty: Um, wow. I thought only I had the power to piss off every single man on Alpha Team, but you did it with one question. Nice work.

Martini: So, you’ve decided we’re just idiots? I retract the offer to teach you the alien tango.

Christopher: I’m not exactly feeling the need to remain in this room.

Kitty: Oh, relax, you two. I’m sure she only meant that I figure things out so much faster than you two do.

Christopher: Oh, yes, that’s so much better.

Kitty: Bathrooms have the beautiful advantage of being someplace where most people try to avoid looking at each other, as well as having stalls with doors in them. Utility closets don’t, and if some guy in a suit saunters out of a bathroom, well so what? Same dude coming out of a utility closet’s going to get a lot more attention. We do have women’s restrooms with gates, too. But since 99.9% of all the working A-C agents are male, it’s sort of stupid to put the gates into a lot of women’s restrooms, wouldn’t you agree?

Martini: I’d agree.

Christopher: Me too. I guess there was some form of method to our madness, wasn’t there?

Kitty: Good luck on your next questions, Tigris. They’re still pissed.

Tigris: Reader, I have to ask because it’s a must… Who is your favorite Comic Character and who of the A-C’s have you met are most like them?

Reader: Nice topic switch. I didn’t put the gates in place, so you’re not pissing me off too much. I think I have to go with Kitty and agree that Wolverine is pretty much the main man for comics characters. For pretty much the same reasons she has. I’m also a big fan of Daredevil, because the man looks hot in tight, red leather. I don’t really think of any of the A-Cs in comparison to any comics characters.

Martini: What about Superman?

Reader: Not really.

Christopher: Thor?

Reader: Nah.

Gower: Green Lantern?

Reader: Not really. Kitty kind of reminds me of Jean Grey from the X-Men, though.

Kitty: Aww, James, you’re so sweet. I agree with you about the A-Cs, but I can see you as Captain America.

Reader: Yet another reason I love you, girlfriend.

Kitty: Wow. Look at the pretty colors and expressions on everyone else’s faces. Tigris? Time to try again here…

Tigris: Kitty, Fugly? I love that word reminds me of Mean Girls , you rock that word like it’s nobody’s business, I declare we name the parasites that… *shrugs and laughs* It gets my vote.

Kitty: I kind of thought we’d already named them that, but hey, it works for me!

Christopher: They’re called parasites and in-control superbeings. For a reason.

Kitty: They’re big fugly monsters, Christopher, get with the program.

Tigris: Christopher, what was going through your head during that elevator scene? I know you were affected by the Fugly interfering but I’m dying to know…

Christopher: Nothing! Nothing was going on in my head! None of your damn business!

Tigris: Jeff, stop growling… You proved your point to Kitty in the elevator… We got it she’s yours now relax. *winks*

Kitty: Ah, Tigris? I seriously think you have no idea how pissed off and upset you’re making both of them. I recommend stopping this line of questioning right now and heading us onto something else.

The door opens and in walks Chuckie.

Kitty: Oh dear. This wasn’t the something else I had in mind. But, hey Chuckie!

Chuckie: Hey Kitty, Tigris. Gentlemen.

Martini: Why is he here?

Chuckie: Seems obvious, Martini. Tigris invited me and The Creator said it was okay.

Tigris: So glad you could make it Chuckie, can I call you that?

Chuckie: I’d prefer you didn’t. Charles or Chuck, take your pick. Only Kitty calls me Chuckie.

Martini: Call him Jerk. I think that fits.

Kitty: Boys, don’t start.

Tigris: What’s going on with you and your department?

Chuckie: That’s classified, sorry.

Tigris: And, now that you and Kitty are both open with your roles in the A-C’s fight to keep

Earth safe, how do you feel?

Chuckie: That’s also classified.

Martini: I know exactly how you feel about it.

Chuckie: Oh yeah? Why don’t you share then?

Martini: Over my dead body.

Chuckie: That could be arranged.

Kitty: Boys, really, stop it.

Tigris: *Rolls eyes at Jeff as he is clearly wanted to say something else* Alright, Jeff, the

floor’s yours. What do you need to say that you’re not able to say?

Martini: I hate him. I really hate him.

Chuckie: Is that supposed to bother me in some way? Of the people in this room, there’s only one whose opinion matters to me.

Kitty: I think Chuckie’s great, Jeff. You need to relax.

Chuckie: As I said.

Martini: You somehow think that’s going to make me not hate him?

Kitty: Jeff, you worry too much.

Martini: Right.

Tigirs: Kitty how is the rest of Alpha Team? How are the girls getting on?

Kitty: All of Alpha Team is here, other than Tim Crawford. Claudia and Lorraine, along with my flyboys, are all on Airborne. But they’re all doing great. Kind of bummed they weren’t invited to this super secret summit meeting, but otherwise great. The girls are really getting into the fieldwork side of things.

Martini: Which I’m not happy about.

Kitty: Whatever, Jeff. Women do work these days.

Martini: They have jobs. Important ones. In the research, science and medical fields.

Kitty: Yes, but sometimes a girl likes to kick some bad guy butt.

Martini: I have no idea why.

Kitty: It’s a kickass chicks thing, Jeff, you wouldn’t understand.

Tigris: Jeff how do you picture your life with Kitty in the future? Do you think you will always be

fighting?

Martini: We don’t always fight! Do you think we always fight?

Kitty: I think we fight about average.

Martini: Average?

Kitty: Well, like James and Paul almost never fight.

Chuckie: You and I don’t fight, either.

Martini: She’s not your girl, Reynolds.

Chuckie: We’ll see.

Martini: What’s THAT supposed to mean?

Chuckie: I’m watching you, Martini. All the time.

Kitty: I dread to find out how. Boys, really, enough with the macho.

Martini: Fine. So you think we fight a lot?

Kitty: I think we butt heads due to our respective positions and the high stress jobs we both

have.

Reader: Nice, girlfriend, you’ve been practicing.

Kitty: Glad you like it, James!

Reader: Very mature and responsible.

Kitty: Chuckie helped me with it.

Martini: Can I have a drink and just end it all now?

Kitty: Oh, Jeff, hush and stop being so dramatic.

Martini: When does the fun actually start? You all told me this interview idea would be fun. I’m not seeing the fun yet.

Kitty: Oh, Jeff, relax. It’s all fine. You know where I sleep. Tigris, let’s go for another question.

Tigris: I meant did you think you’d always be having to fight evil.

Martini: Oh. Evil. Right. Sadly, yes, I feel evil’s always going to be rearing its ugly head.

Kitty: Fugly head. I think we agreed that was going to be the official word from now on.

Martini: You and Tigris agreed. I didn’t.

Kitty: What’s your point?

Tigris: Kitty how do you really feel about Lucinda?

Kitty: That’s classified. And, wow, you really like to stir the pot up, don’t you? Geez.

Tigris: And I would just like to add when you popped Barbara *slides across the table and fists bump* Score for Team Katt!

Kitty: Hey, she asked for it. Repeatedly. I can’t stand her. I’m hoping to never see her again.

Christopher: Good luck with that. As one half of our main diplomatic couple, she’s not going anywhere.

Kitty: A girl can dream.

Tigris: *Looks at my watch and glances up at the table* Alright guys I know you’re all pressed for time so we can conclude this meeting until another time. Thanks again for allowing me and the clones to come for a visit. *Looks at Christopher* So, that report, what does it say? Are you to show me around?

Christopher: The report is classified.

Kitty: The Creator just sent me a note. You’re to take her on a tour, but a limited one only. And you’re to handle it personally.

Christopher: Not that I’m objecting, but why?

Kitty: So she doesn’t see anything classified. Per The Creator, “overly inquisitive” and “asks probing questions” were key phrases, repeated over and over again.

Christopher: Wonderful.

Kitty: Of course, so were the phrases “impressive stamina” and “openness to new things”.

Christopher: Oh. Well then. Tigris, I’ll be happy to show you around Caliente Base.

Kitty: Oh look. He’s finally happy about this meeting. I suggest you start with the elevator.

Christopher: Great idea.

Reader: Why there?

Kitty: With any luck, they won’t go anywhere else.

Martini: What about her clones?

Kitty: I’ll take care of them.

Martini: Over my dead body.

Chuckie: I agree with Martini on that one.

Reader: I’ll take care of them.

Gower: I’m with Jeff and Reynolds.

Kitty: Fine, they can go with Christopher and Tigris on the tour. Everyone happy about that?

Reader: Yeah, especially Tigris, I’m sure.

Kitty: I live to serve.